haii welcome 2 my diary!! i talk abt whatever i wnat here :p as of now, there r rlly no content warnings besides spoilers 4 stuff in the media log (altho itll be marked) :p
09.02.24 life...
february, WATARU MONTH!! his bday is in less than 2 weeks !! i ordered a bunch of stuff not for his bday, but i hope it gets here in time for his bday theres like this can badge set i ordered but its been 10 days and is still not at the neokyo warehouse T_T and its from jp mercari which never takes that long,, btu i got a bunch of other cute stuff thats rlly worth it so yea :3 even if it all comes after watarus bday ill still b soso happy
so,, valentines day,, i wanna crochet me and my bsf some matching cat keychains and they can have hearts with each others initials thatd be cute!! btu i still have to finish his christmas gift U_U ive been procrastinating but only bc its the most complicated out of all christmas gifts i made, its a doll of aesop idv,, and i made him a pompompurin which i gave to him in like early january so its not like i havent given him anything, AND i made a morgana soo yea.. mayb i should ask my emo boy hallway crush to be my valentine xd (JOKE JOKE) actually ive been seeing him a lot more recently mayb its a sign ?? like the first few weeks after the new semester i NEVER saw him bc i dont rlly know his schedule all im pretty confident abt is that he has chem b period, f lunch days he has 3rd lunch and e period is algebra 2, he walks past the cafeteria at the end of g lunch... IM NOTA STALKER!!! hes so beautiful, i wish i could see him more... even if it was only one class we had together.. i wish i was smarter so i could be in higher level classes, if i was in chem even tho im a sophomore hes a junior i think they can b in the same chem/algebra 2 classes at my school ?? it was TERRIBLE tho bc one day my hair looked so bad and he SAW ME. i did not expect it bc i hadnt seen him in like 4everrr... so nwo im trying to dress better everyday. um and make sure my hair looks good..
and new semester ?? its kinda boring!! the only fun part now is culinary, cooking.. even tho im not rllyyy good at cooking bc uhhh i barely eat. any food... its fun!! i wanna learn to make cookies and brownies, i think baking seems more fun but ?!!!?! theres this rlly nice girl in my class who compliments my clothes and talks to me like a normal person !! she told me she always loved my style and i remind her of scene kids so thats also why i wanna dress better,, bc i had gym the first semester i never rlly wanted to get dressed up, so i never wore jewelry and even now i just wear jeans, a graphic tee w a plain long sleeve under it and usuallyy a zip up bc the school is freezing.. i tried wearing arm warmers the other day but i was SO. COLD!!! arm warmers look a lot better than just sleeves, but i only see her one class and i only see emo boy for like mayb a minute total in aday and idk if he rlly even notices me.. i would wear a coat then take it off so i could still wear arm warmers but there r better things (wataru merch) to spend my money on :p umm and my other elective is some photoshop class, its soo boring and its full of freshmen like no joke the freshmen this yr r the WORST !! theyre so loud and annoying, even my headphones dont block them out T_T btu its better than last semester NOTHING could be worse than gym, altho part of me liked gym a little bc i was w my bsf so we got to talk and stuff,,, and creative writing was rlly boring and my teacher was kind of crazy and ignored my 504 plan X_X and at my school there r 3 diff classes u can have lunch w, and now hwen i have f period lunch im alone bc my bsf has 2nd lunch i have 3rd.. so my mom keeps telling me abt how i need to make more friends and i want to!! but idk how.. kurtis has been my only irl friend for like 4 yrs now idk... i h8 social anxiety.. i wanna try being friends with the girl in my culinary class but how do i start?? do ppl just ask to be friends?? do ppl in high school even accept friends anymore? i would but most other ppl have friend groups already...
but ENOUGH negativity !! this semester is my last semester of spanish EVER !!! im soso happy i am not taking another yr again. ever. i have not had a single spansih teacher thats followed my 504 and my teacher this yr is sooo annoying ugh shes the worst and soo nosy.. and another yr is rlly only important for ivy leagues if i go to college im def not going to one of those.. and the end of this semester means that im halfway thru high school.. exciting but scary.. um yea thats it?!!?! i think.. ty for reading ^_^
february, WATARU MONTH!! his bday is in less than 2 weeks !! i ordered a bunch of stuff not for his bday, but i hope it gets here in time for his bday theres like this can badge set i ordered but its been 10 days and is still not at the neokyo warehouse T_T and its from jp mercari which never takes that long,, btu i got a bunch of other cute stuff thats rlly worth it so yea :3 even if it all comes after watarus bday ill still b soso happy
so,, valentines day,, i wanna crochet me and my bsf some matching cat keychains and they can have hearts with each others initials thatd be cute!! btu i still have to finish his christmas gift U_U ive been procrastinating but only bc its the most complicated out of all christmas gifts i made, its a doll of aesop idv,, and i made him a pompompurin which i gave to him in like early january so its not like i havent given him anything, AND i made a morgana soo yea.. mayb i should ask my emo boy hallway crush to be my valentine xd (JOKE JOKE) actually ive been seeing him a lot more recently mayb its a sign ?? like the first few weeks after the new semester i NEVER saw him bc i dont rlly know his schedule all im pretty confident abt is that he has chem b period, f lunch days he has 3rd lunch and e period is algebra 2, he walks past the cafeteria at the end of g lunch... IM NOTA STALKER!!! hes so beautiful, i wish i could see him more... even if it was only one class we had together.. i wish i was smarter so i could be in higher level classes, if i was in chem even tho im a sophomore hes a junior i think they can b in the same chem/algebra 2 classes at my school ?? it was TERRIBLE tho bc one day my hair looked so bad and he SAW ME. i did not expect it bc i hadnt seen him in like 4everrr... so nwo im trying to dress better everyday. um and make sure my hair looks good..
and new semester ?? its kinda boring!! the only fun part now is culinary, cooking.. even tho im not rllyyy good at cooking bc uhhh i barely eat. any food... its fun!! i wanna learn to make cookies and brownies, i think baking seems more fun but ?!!!?! theres this rlly nice girl in my class who compliments my clothes and talks to me like a normal person !! she told me she always loved my style and i remind her of scene kids so thats also why i wanna dress better,, bc i had gym the first semester i never rlly wanted to get dressed up, so i never wore jewelry and even now i just wear jeans, a graphic tee w a plain long sleeve under it and usuallyy a zip up bc the school is freezing.. i tried wearing arm warmers the other day but i was SO. COLD!!! arm warmers look a lot better than just sleeves, but i only see her one class and i only see emo boy for like mayb a minute total in aday and idk if he rlly even notices me.. i would wear a coat then take it off so i could still wear arm warmers but there r better things (wataru merch) to spend my money on :p umm and my other elective is some photoshop class, its soo boring and its full of freshmen like no joke the freshmen this yr r the WORST !! theyre so loud and annoying, even my headphones dont block them out T_T btu its better than last semester NOTHING could be worse than gym, altho part of me liked gym a little bc i was w my bsf so we got to talk and stuff,,, and creative writing was rlly boring and my teacher was kind of crazy and ignored my 504 plan X_X and at my school there r 3 diff classes u can have lunch w, and now hwen i have f period lunch im alone bc my bsf has 2nd lunch i have 3rd.. so my mom keeps telling me abt how i need to make more friends and i want to!! but idk how.. kurtis has been my only irl friend for like 4 yrs now idk... i h8 social anxiety.. i wanna try being friends with the girl in my culinary class but how do i start?? do ppl just ask to be friends?? do ppl in high school even accept friends anymore? i would but most other ppl have friend groups already...
but ENOUGH negativity !! this semester is my last semester of spanish EVER !!! im soso happy i am not taking another yr again. ever. i have not had a single spansih teacher thats followed my 504 and my teacher this yr is sooo annoying ugh shes the worst and soo nosy.. and another yr is rlly only important for ivy leagues if i go to college im def not going to one of those.. and the end of this semester means that im halfway thru high school.. exciting but scary.. um yea thats it?!!?! i think.. ty for reading ^_^
05.01.24 new york and new year
i went to new york for new years eve weekend !! i didnt stay for the ball drop but i still had lots of ufn :3 i actually left like at noon-ish on new yrs eve day bc i was sick and tired which usually i could fight thru bc i luv nyc but when my mom said we should go home i thought she prob wanted to go home too bc she was kinda sick T_T and it was crazy bc of new yrs,, i had never gone during the holidays it was so nice seeing all the places so decorated, w their trees and lights and stuff and cute shop windows!! omg i went to this one toy store by the tree and it was so fun it was like a toy store i had also dreamt (??) abt as a kid,, i hope i get to go during the holidays again even if it was rlly cold!!
i went to kinokuniya bc i love to look around even if everything is soo expemsive u_u they got new enstars stuff !! b4 they only had art books, but this time they had the irl gacha acrylic stands and pins and pashas and stuff,, i didnt get any bc the chances of getting wataru werent rlly worth it bc pins were like $11 each @_@ it was fun 2 see esp bc last time i went they only had like 3 diff enstars artbooks sob sob and umummmm i ate some rlly good pizza. ate some good cookiess,, drank lots of hot chocolate and uhhghg i rlly just looked around at sutff, at a bunch of stores :3 even if i dont buy anything its so ufn 2 look around !! im saving up all my money for my wataru collection soo im trying not to buy anything unless i would die without it,, im so sad bc it was only a few days ago and ive already forgotten sm, i rlly regret leaving early i wish i just fought thru it :(( i didnt even go to any thrift stores or flea markets i always go to some !! after every nyc trip i feel so empty, returning to real life is so boring and now i have nothing to look forward 4ever to unless im able to convince my mom to let me buy more wataru stuff T_T WAItiI watarus birthday IS in like a month and a half,, omg ill have 2 do smth rlly fun to celebrate :3 btu my dream when im an adult and on my own i wanna live in the city!!
and then new years,, this yr is kind of scary bc im turning 16 >_< usually a celebrated age bc of sweet sixteen but idk it feels so SRS !! like driving,, i rlly dont want to try and drive bc i cant even go an entire class without spacing out how am i supposed 2 drive and not space out, i could DIE!!!!?? its not worth it !! public transportation exists so like why drive,, save the environment yeayea but also every new yr i kinda dread even more and more bc it gets closer and closer to 2026, graduation yr. whcih is like exciting bc no more high school and i h8 hgih school sm i wish i never had to go back there i styaed home 2day after going like one day after break and everytime im out of school then ahve to go back i remember how much more i h8 it, but this entry isnt abt my lifelong hatred for school umm graduating is just scary bc like college, i havent thought abt it,, ive been keeping my grades rlly good if i do go and ik my moms want me to go but ueeee so scary !! and expensive,, idk what i even wanna do with my life yet like i just wanna b a professional enstarrie that should b a job,, omg i should apply to work on enstars like when happyele was hiring writers or smht ?? i could make watarex canon finally !!!
but.. enough abt negativity and worries !! the best part of a new yr is making resolutions to improve! a list for what i wanna do this yr :D
i went to new york for new years eve weekend !! i didnt stay for the ball drop but i still had lots of ufn :3 i actually left like at noon-ish on new yrs eve day bc i was sick and tired which usually i could fight thru bc i luv nyc but when my mom said we should go home i thought she prob wanted to go home too bc she was kinda sick T_T and it was crazy bc of new yrs,, i had never gone during the holidays it was so nice seeing all the places so decorated, w their trees and lights and stuff and cute shop windows!! omg i went to this one toy store by the tree and it was so fun it was like a toy store i had also dreamt (??) abt as a kid,, i hope i get to go during the holidays again even if it was rlly cold!!
i went to kinokuniya bc i love to look around even if everything is soo expemsive u_u they got new enstars stuff !! b4 they only had art books, but this time they had the irl gacha acrylic stands and pins and pashas and stuff,, i didnt get any bc the chances of getting wataru werent rlly worth it bc pins were like $11 each @_@ it was fun 2 see esp bc last time i went they only had like 3 diff enstars artbooks sob sob and umummmm i ate some rlly good pizza. ate some good cookiess,, drank lots of hot chocolate and uhhghg i rlly just looked around at sutff, at a bunch of stores :3 even if i dont buy anything its so ufn 2 look around !! im saving up all my money for my wataru collection soo im trying not to buy anything unless i would die without it,, im so sad bc it was only a few days ago and ive already forgotten sm, i rlly regret leaving early i wish i just fought thru it :(( i didnt even go to any thrift stores or flea markets i always go to some !! after every nyc trip i feel so empty, returning to real life is so boring and now i have nothing to look forward 4ever to unless im able to convince my mom to let me buy more wataru stuff T_T WAItiI watarus birthday IS in like a month and a half,, omg ill have 2 do smth rlly fun to celebrate :3 btu my dream when im an adult and on my own i wanna live in the city!!
and then new years,, this yr is kind of scary bc im turning 16 >_< usually a celebrated age bc of sweet sixteen but idk it feels so SRS !! like driving,, i rlly dont want to try and drive bc i cant even go an entire class without spacing out how am i supposed 2 drive and not space out, i could DIE!!!!?? its not worth it !! public transportation exists so like why drive,, save the environment yeayea but also every new yr i kinda dread even more and more bc it gets closer and closer to 2026, graduation yr. whcih is like exciting bc no more high school and i h8 hgih school sm i wish i never had to go back there i styaed home 2day after going like one day after break and everytime im out of school then ahve to go back i remember how much more i h8 it, but this entry isnt abt my lifelong hatred for school umm graduating is just scary bc like college, i havent thought abt it,, ive been keeping my grades rlly good if i do go and ik my moms want me to go but ueeee so scary !! and expensive,, idk what i even wanna do with my life yet like i just wanna b a professional enstarrie that should b a job,, omg i should apply to work on enstars like when happyele was hiring writers or smht ?? i could make watarex canon finally !!!
but.. enough abt negativity and worries !! the best part of a new yr is making resolutions to improve! a list for what i wanna do this yr :D
- get back into old hobbies!! i have sm beads and rubber bands still, i miss making bracelets ive just been so uninspired T_T and also be more active on my neocities !! i havnet had any ideas for it but thats no excuse!!! i have sm shrines to make still, pages to revamp,, sm work :(
- new hobbies...? i wanna get into real embroidery not just like amigurumi details,, punch needling also looks fun but idk what id use it for
- obvss grow my wataru collection !!
- be more neat, clean and organized,, prob wont happen but i can dream
20.12.23 yaoimas...
in 5 days seme nick is coming for yaoimas, feeling very fujoshive (like festive,, pls it makes sense i promise),,christmas in 5 days !! omg,, not 2 b dramatic but that is the only thing keeping me going rn :3 i had ANOTEHR !! wataru package that i ordered which came at end of nov, but i could only keep half of it T_T bc the other hlaf my mom paid for bc she thinks my wataru collection is a waste of money ?!?!?!? she also said i have to stop ordering sm stuff but blehh :p once i get my christmas money i am 4 sure ordering more wawa stuff !!its not like i rlly spend my money on anything else anymore, just yarn :p and im a good kid if spending all my money on wataru is the worst thing i do then she should b happy,, but umm for christmas im also getting some of the enstars art books and the mangas :3 andd im gonna make another wata ita bag, itll b my 3rd !! even tho i dont use bags that much i wanna have at least 5 bc theyre a pretty way to display collections nyaha ^_^ also mightt go to art school next yr?? idk if i rlly wanna go or not im only gonna go if my bsf does so like i think id bring my ita bags there bc i could bring it everywhere i dont trust the kids at my school they r EVIL and they dont like me,, but idk i just feel bad bc both my ita bags rn just stay in my room unless i go out like shopping or on a trip which is um not a lot T_T
ok umm also hi neocities ppl i kinda forgot abt my site lolzz xd i realize i kinda miss it now that im working on it again,, altho its bc for the past few months ive been sleeping sm like 10-12 hrs every night and during the day all i do is crochet or play enstars >_< i still wanna change my abt me but i srsly have no ideas for it, and umm i have to add more to my valk shrine and i still rlly wanna make a nana shrine aaaa i discovered sntry while i was busy not working on my site and its fun,, have only made like 3 so far and one of them the code is kinda broken soo um yea ive done nothing else besides school stuff ewww i h8 school !! i have no fun classes the only good thing is seeing my bsf at lunch and the like 3 classes we have together,, ive barely even drawn anything which is kinda bc i have no motivation but also bc art style stuff,, shivers,, the most srawing i do now is drawing wataru on my school papers i can barely remember any other characters 2 draw from meory u_u but hes soo fun to draw and i love him lots so its ok :3
AND MY EMO BOY HALLWAY CRUDH UGHHGHHGGHHHG i think hes friends w my sister which makes me SOO mad idk if he rlly even is emo but like he wears all black and wears black nail polish and wears headphones all the time which ok mayb is rude bc that is stereotypical 2000s emo but as an emo myself i can sense it,, trust,, we always make eye contact and sometimes he smiles at me, it was over a yr ago but one time he complimented my outfit and when some guys started barking at me he told them to stop i will never forget we r destined !! he is my knight in a black hoodie that protects me from the evil barking high school boys <33 btu even if he is like gay or smth and ill never get 2 date him i at least wanna b friends bc he seems cool and if he rlly is emo i need other emo ppl to talk to, irl i actually just need more ppl to talk to bc i only have one irl friend T_T yea,, but hes rlly cool and awesome and hes been my bsf for like umm 6 yrs?? so even if he is my only friend until i die thats ok :3 ily kurtt OK UMMMMEMEM baii ty 4 reading have a yaoiful day :D
in 5 days seme nick is coming for yaoimas, feeling very fujoshive (like festive,, pls it makes sense i promise),,christmas in 5 days !! omg,, not 2 b dramatic but that is the only thing keeping me going rn :3 i had ANOTEHR !! wataru package that i ordered which came at end of nov, but i could only keep half of it T_T bc the other hlaf my mom paid for bc she thinks my wataru collection is a waste of money ?!?!?!? she also said i have to stop ordering sm stuff but blehh :p once i get my christmas money i am 4 sure ordering more wawa stuff !!its not like i rlly spend my money on anything else anymore, just yarn :p and im a good kid if spending all my money on wataru is the worst thing i do then she should b happy,, but umm for christmas im also getting some of the enstars art books and the mangas :3 andd im gonna make another wata ita bag, itll b my 3rd !! even tho i dont use bags that much i wanna have at least 5 bc theyre a pretty way to display collections nyaha ^_^ also mightt go to art school next yr?? idk if i rlly wanna go or not im only gonna go if my bsf does so like i think id bring my ita bags there bc i could bring it everywhere i dont trust the kids at my school they r EVIL and they dont like me,, but idk i just feel bad bc both my ita bags rn just stay in my room unless i go out like shopping or on a trip which is um not a lot T_T
ok umm also hi neocities ppl i kinda forgot abt my site lolzz xd i realize i kinda miss it now that im working on it again,, altho its bc for the past few months ive been sleeping sm like 10-12 hrs every night and during the day all i do is crochet or play enstars >_< i still wanna change my abt me but i srsly have no ideas for it, and umm i have to add more to my valk shrine and i still rlly wanna make a nana shrine aaaa i discovered sntry while i was busy not working on my site and its fun,, have only made like 3 so far and one of them the code is kinda broken soo um yea ive done nothing else besides school stuff ewww i h8 school !! i have no fun classes the only good thing is seeing my bsf at lunch and the like 3 classes we have together,, ive barely even drawn anything which is kinda bc i have no motivation but also bc art style stuff,, shivers,, the most srawing i do now is drawing wataru on my school papers i can barely remember any other characters 2 draw from meory u_u but hes soo fun to draw and i love him lots so its ok :3
AND MY EMO BOY HALLWAY CRUDH UGHHGHHGGHHHG i think hes friends w my sister which makes me SOO mad idk if he rlly even is emo but like he wears all black and wears black nail polish and wears headphones all the time which ok mayb is rude bc that is stereotypical 2000s emo but as an emo myself i can sense it,, trust,, we always make eye contact and sometimes he smiles at me, it was over a yr ago but one time he complimented my outfit and when some guys started barking at me he told them to stop i will never forget we r destined !! he is my knight in a black hoodie that protects me from the evil barking high school boys <33 btu even if he is like gay or smth and ill never get 2 date him i at least wanna b friends bc he seems cool and if he rlly is emo i need other emo ppl to talk to, irl i actually just need more ppl to talk to bc i only have one irl friend T_T yea,, but hes rlly cool and awesome and hes been my bsf for like umm 6 yrs?? so even if he is my only friend until i die thats ok :3 ily kurtt OK UMMMMEMEM baii ty 4 reading have a yaoiful day :D
29.09.23 wataru haul!!
I FORGOT 2 POST THIS ON HERE,, but umm so like last week on thursday all of my wataru stuff finally came in yayy :3 i ordered it like a month ago, i forgot how long surugaya takes 2 ship and also like neokyo packing was on a week backlog or smth but i dont think ive been so excited 4 a package ever. it literally took me an hour and a half 2 unpack everything (mainly bc most stuff had a lot of layers of bubble wrap and stuff) it felt like christmas but i spent my own money and i knew most of what i got already :p
this was everything laid out on my floor :p
keychains and stuff, i was SOO excited 2 find the cat one and it was brand new too!! um the bear keychain is also sparkly i thought that was fun :3 i love the mochi too so squishy and tiny,, i rlly love the uhh rubber keychains specifically idk, esp the ones w like the big dot eyes?? i already have a few of thse but as a collector i gotta have somee duplicates :p i wanna like there r these grid wall things so im gonna get a few of those and fill them all up w wataru keychains!! i do have one on my phone, but im always so worried abt losing them and stuff :( uhh and also the rectangle ones r shiny :p
other stuff, pins pashas and some other little keychains, next time im gonna get some more pashas so i can have like a little book of them or smth and i can decorate them all :3 but i already have one in my phone case so wataru is w me everywhere i go nyaha ^_^ since i never collected pokemon cards as a kid this is my chance 2 spend money on little pieces of paper. idk if im gonna make another ita bag bc i have 2 now, i wanna get a heart shape one but i thinkt hthats enough bc like i dont use bags that much i could neverr bring them to school bc i dont trust anyone!! and i already have like a big tokidoki crossbody bag, i feel like im abandoning that esp bc its a gift from my mom u_u
hte plushie army,, i love the big head one sm, i have 2 get out some more hairclips 4 the other nuis but blehh :p i also have 2 fnid them clothes too, the bug eye one ik that nui series has like clothes made just 4 them of their unit outfits but finding the plushie was hard enough idk if ill ever find those u_u
MY FAV THING !! the bear bag, omg i was SOO excited 2 find this and also the nui its so cute !! i already had a !! era nui b4 this but like u can never have too many X3 it came w the costume so like ofc i had 2 get it ! the bear bag is literally so soft omg, ill be bringing it everywhere w me :3
and then the insert, i forgot hwo painful ita inserts were 2 make bc i poked myself so many times my thumb hurt until i went 2 bed u_u altho i rlly like these pins theyre sparkly !!
but like it was so embarrassing bc it needed an adult signature so there was no way i could avoid telling my mom abt it, it was the worst she was on the phone w my other mom and telling her all abt it and all the stuff i brought and i kinda got in trouble bc im not supposed 2 order stuff online w my debit card blah blha but like its what i have 2 do 4 wataru !! hes the loml and they just dont understand it,, they thought the bear bag was cute but like othwr than that i think they think that my wataru collecting is weird which like idc wataru makes me happy and i love him more than anything and thats all that matters <3 but its so annoying now bc like shes like 'umm u cant spend $20 on jeans but can spend $400 on anime stuff' LIKE LEAVE ME ALONEEE UGHHH and $60 was shipping so actually it was $340 and i got rlly good deals!! like the bear bag i got for $50, and even on jp marketplaces ive never seen it go 4 less than $100,, and like they pack the stuff rlly good which makes shipping worth it, and like if i brought this stuff on america mercari/ebay it'd be 2x-4x the price, like surugaya i usually get keychains on there for $4 or less even w neokyo fees!!
i kinda didnt know that youre actually only supposed 2 use neokyo if youre a legal adult, neokyo pls dont ban me i didnt know im just a girlfail myaa >_< and paypal too but like blehh :p AND THENN my sister asked me why i have sm wataru merch like that was soo unnecessary like i never ask her why she has sm miku merch leave me and my bf alone pls and tyy,, but uh yea i still have 2 clean my room 2 make space 4 all my new stuff but im veryy happy i love everything i got :D i cant wait until xmas when i get more money from extended family and stuff, i hope theyll all b happy knowing that from now on all xmas and bday money will b spent on wataru merch :3 i will b the only wataruP ever!! ok ty 4 reading baii have a good day :D
I FORGOT 2 POST THIS ON HERE,, but umm so like last week on thursday all of my wataru stuff finally came in yayy :3 i ordered it like a month ago, i forgot how long surugaya takes 2 ship and also like neokyo packing was on a week backlog or smth but i dont think ive been so excited 4 a package ever. it literally took me an hour and a half 2 unpack everything (mainly bc most stuff had a lot of layers of bubble wrap and stuff) it felt like christmas but i spent my own money and i knew most of what i got already :p
this was everything laid out on my floor :p
keychains and stuff, i was SOO excited 2 find the cat one and it was brand new too!! um the bear keychain is also sparkly i thought that was fun :3 i love the mochi too so squishy and tiny,, i rlly love the uhh rubber keychains specifically idk, esp the ones w like the big dot eyes?? i already have a few of thse but as a collector i gotta have somee duplicates :p i wanna like there r these grid wall things so im gonna get a few of those and fill them all up w wataru keychains!! i do have one on my phone, but im always so worried abt losing them and stuff :( uhh and also the rectangle ones r shiny :p
other stuff, pins pashas and some other little keychains, next time im gonna get some more pashas so i can have like a little book of them or smth and i can decorate them all :3 but i already have one in my phone case so wataru is w me everywhere i go nyaha ^_^ since i never collected pokemon cards as a kid this is my chance 2 spend money on little pieces of paper. idk if im gonna make another ita bag bc i have 2 now, i wanna get a heart shape one but i thinkt hthats enough bc like i dont use bags that much i could neverr bring them to school bc i dont trust anyone!! and i already have like a big tokidoki crossbody bag, i feel like im abandoning that esp bc its a gift from my mom u_u
hte plushie army,, i love the big head one sm, i have 2 get out some more hairclips 4 the other nuis but blehh :p i also have 2 fnid them clothes too, the bug eye one ik that nui series has like clothes made just 4 them of their unit outfits but finding the plushie was hard enough idk if ill ever find those u_u
MY FAV THING !! the bear bag, omg i was SOO excited 2 find this and also the nui its so cute !! i already had a !! era nui b4 this but like u can never have too many X3 it came w the costume so like ofc i had 2 get it ! the bear bag is literally so soft omg, ill be bringing it everywhere w me :3
and then the insert, i forgot hwo painful ita inserts were 2 make bc i poked myself so many times my thumb hurt until i went 2 bed u_u altho i rlly like these pins theyre sparkly !!
but like it was so embarrassing bc it needed an adult signature so there was no way i could avoid telling my mom abt it, it was the worst she was on the phone w my other mom and telling her all abt it and all the stuff i brought and i kinda got in trouble bc im not supposed 2 order stuff online w my debit card blah blha but like its what i have 2 do 4 wataru !! hes the loml and they just dont understand it,, they thought the bear bag was cute but like othwr than that i think they think that my wataru collecting is weird which like idc wataru makes me happy and i love him more than anything and thats all that matters <3 but its so annoying now bc like shes like 'umm u cant spend $20 on jeans but can spend $400 on anime stuff' LIKE LEAVE ME ALONEEE UGHHH and $60 was shipping so actually it was $340 and i got rlly good deals!! like the bear bag i got for $50, and even on jp marketplaces ive never seen it go 4 less than $100,, and like they pack the stuff rlly good which makes shipping worth it, and like if i brought this stuff on america mercari/ebay it'd be 2x-4x the price, like surugaya i usually get keychains on there for $4 or less even w neokyo fees!!
i kinda didnt know that youre actually only supposed 2 use neokyo if youre a legal adult, neokyo pls dont ban me i didnt know im just a girlfail myaa >_< and paypal too but like blehh :p AND THENN my sister asked me why i have sm wataru merch like that was soo unnecessary like i never ask her why she has sm miku merch leave me and my bf alone pls and tyy,, but uh yea i still have 2 clean my room 2 make space 4 all my new stuff but im veryy happy i love everything i got :D i cant wait until xmas when i get more money from extended family and stuff, i hope theyll all b happy knowing that from now on all xmas and bday money will b spent on wataru merch :3 i will b the only wataruP ever!! ok ty 4 reading baii have a good day :D
15.04.23 nyc trip
back home from my 3 day nyc trip so im gonna write all abt it :3 4 this trip my mom and i stayed mostly in times square but we checked out brooklyn (my first time visiting there), the village, flat iron district area and chinatown/canal street too and some other places i cant rlly think of rn or didnt know the name of :3 our hotel was right by joes pizza which is like my fav pizza place everr so i was able to go there a bunch xd and on day 1 we went to magnolia bakery bc that is one of my moms fav bakeries and we always go there on our trips. uhhh also went to ralphs ice cream bc that is my fav ice cream place in the whole world and again i always go there every trip. in brooklyn we were able to try out a few bakeries and some nice ice cream places too :D i think we got in the wrong area bc there was supposed to be like a super cool downtown area but we never found it u_u even tho i did visit a few thrift stores there they were kinda disappointing and so expensive like why r u selling used jeans for 60$ omg!! ik a lot of ppl thrift to be ethical (me too) but srsly charging more expensive 4 used when u can buy new 4 like half the price is kinda crazy, it takes away another big purpose of thrifting which is to be affordable but it wasnt like a goodwill it was like labelled as 'vintage' so ig thats why. altho at the same one they had a shirt w grell from black butler but it was too small and i dont rlly like black butler that much anyways u_u they also had a brba shirt which was heartbreaking i couldnt get it bc my mom said i shouldnt watch it (even tho i watched all 5 seasons anyways xd) so i had to leave it there :(( music highlights from the thrifts: taking back sunday and gorillaz :o there was weezer in one too but i only know like one weezer song bc of tiktok so ya,, i heard the flea market in brooklyn is rlly cool tho so when my mom and i go 4 our summer trip i think we'll go over the weekend :3
the village is always nice, even tho ik all the stores r soo expensive and i will never be able to afford anything in them ever i like walking around. i went to the flat iron district to visit forbidden planet (comic store place) bc when i went a while ago they had nana and south park funkos but nothing this time u_u also got more expensive i think, a sheet of persona5 stickers was 6$ like o_O,, but it was cool to visit i like looking at all the figures and stuff even if those r kinda overpriced too. there was another comic store in brooklyn that had scott pilgrim figures that were rlly cool but even when i watched+read it i was never like a huge fan i just liked knives and wallace. i went to bookoff too and game prices there were kinda crazy like a danganronpa game was 90$ i dont think they were ever that expensive?? idk i h8 dangan now so,, altho the prices for the random pins+keychains in the back were rlly good like $3 for a pin which is like the same price as stuff on aliexpress but i wasnt rlly able to look thru bc it was soo hot and there was sm stuff it wouldve taken me hrs and i wouldve passed out 4 the 2nd time that day xd i figured there wasnt rlly a high chance of finding enstars stuff so,, i went to kinokuniya too bc that was by the hotel too and it was rlly expensive ofc they had a lot of csm stuff but keychains were like $14 each u_u ik stuff is more expensive bc its offical/liscened but its still kinda crazy 2 me. altho kinokuniya did have a little enstars section and ofc i went crazyyy waaa i was soosoo excited if it wasnt for the fact that i was in public i wouldve been jumping everywhere xd enstars in the wild,, i got 2 art books and the covers r soo pretty i spent hrs yesterday just looking thru them i love them sm. one even has like wataru central focus on the back cover so gorgoeus waaa i love wataru sm prettiest man in the world,, there was a hypmic section but it was filled w stuff 4 another game?? same w bandori it just had pjsk stuff even tho i dont play either of those games was kinda disappointing i was gonna take pics to show my spacehey friends but ig not,, i also got a tokidoki bag there :3 they had cute stickers and plushies on the bottom floor but those were all like crazy expensive, again w the $6 sticker sheets gahh u_u the displays to just look at art books were pretty tho and they had those cool like book shelf decoration things where its a book but u can decorate it to be like scenery, even tho i prob wont be able to afford a lot it was a cozy store i liked just being in there
ive went to chinatown and canal street a few times but this time i had a mission to search for some gloves from the last visit and sponge cake. i didnt get the gloves last time bc then i didnt think id wear them that much and they werent worth it but i thought abt them more and rlly wanted them u_u so we looked but we couldnt find the store and it wasnt worth going into every store ever. it was during the week so there wasnt like the usual canal street craziness which was nice bc when we go on the weekends theres like way too much going on. i went to this one store that had a bunch of old sanrio stuff like plushies, a dollhouse and sticker maker but all that stuff was kinda expensive u_u i did get a my melo stationary kit :D then i got like 10 sponge cakes xd i only ate 3 there tho i saved the rest 4 home :33 they were soo good nom nom,, then near chinatown theres a few plush stores i usually visit and at rumi life i got a penguin plush bc ive been collecting penguin plushies since i was like 4 like i cannot leave a plush store w/o one xd, they also had some cute bead sets but i didnt get them bc i have enough beads uhh and thats it 4 now i think maybe ill upd8 if i remember any more :33 i had lots of fun tho i luv nyc sm its times like this im jealous of rich ppl bc like i wish i could live in the city and eat $1.50 pizza everyday and walk everywhere and actually have stuff to do waa my fav place in the whole world
shoutout 2 the enstarrie kinokuniya worker
back home from my 3 day nyc trip so im gonna write all abt it :3 4 this trip my mom and i stayed mostly in times square but we checked out brooklyn (my first time visiting there), the village, flat iron district area and chinatown/canal street too and some other places i cant rlly think of rn or didnt know the name of :3 our hotel was right by joes pizza which is like my fav pizza place everr so i was able to go there a bunch xd and on day 1 we went to magnolia bakery bc that is one of my moms fav bakeries and we always go there on our trips. uhhh also went to ralphs ice cream bc that is my fav ice cream place in the whole world and again i always go there every trip. in brooklyn we were able to try out a few bakeries and some nice ice cream places too :D i think we got in the wrong area bc there was supposed to be like a super cool downtown area but we never found it u_u even tho i did visit a few thrift stores there they were kinda disappointing and so expensive like why r u selling used jeans for 60$ omg!! ik a lot of ppl thrift to be ethical (me too) but srsly charging more expensive 4 used when u can buy new 4 like half the price is kinda crazy, it takes away another big purpose of thrifting which is to be affordable but it wasnt like a goodwill it was like labelled as 'vintage' so ig thats why. altho at the same one they had a shirt w grell from black butler but it was too small and i dont rlly like black butler that much anyways u_u they also had a brba shirt which was heartbreaking i couldnt get it bc my mom said i shouldnt watch it (even tho i watched all 5 seasons anyways xd) so i had to leave it there :(( music highlights from the thrifts: taking back sunday and gorillaz :o there was weezer in one too but i only know like one weezer song bc of tiktok so ya,, i heard the flea market in brooklyn is rlly cool tho so when my mom and i go 4 our summer trip i think we'll go over the weekend :3
the village is always nice, even tho ik all the stores r soo expensive and i will never be able to afford anything in them ever i like walking around. i went to the flat iron district to visit forbidden planet (comic store place) bc when i went a while ago they had nana and south park funkos but nothing this time u_u also got more expensive i think, a sheet of persona5 stickers was 6$ like o_O,, but it was cool to visit i like looking at all the figures and stuff even if those r kinda overpriced too. there was another comic store in brooklyn that had scott pilgrim figures that were rlly cool but even when i watched+read it i was never like a huge fan i just liked knives and wallace. i went to bookoff too and game prices there were kinda crazy like a danganronpa game was 90$ i dont think they were ever that expensive?? idk i h8 dangan now so,, altho the prices for the random pins+keychains in the back were rlly good like $3 for a pin which is like the same price as stuff on aliexpress but i wasnt rlly able to look thru bc it was soo hot and there was sm stuff it wouldve taken me hrs and i wouldve passed out 4 the 2nd time that day xd i figured there wasnt rlly a high chance of finding enstars stuff so,, i went to kinokuniya too bc that was by the hotel too and it was rlly expensive ofc they had a lot of csm stuff but keychains were like $14 each u_u ik stuff is more expensive bc its offical/liscened but its still kinda crazy 2 me. altho kinokuniya did have a little enstars section and ofc i went crazyyy waaa i was soosoo excited if it wasnt for the fact that i was in public i wouldve been jumping everywhere xd enstars in the wild,, i got 2 art books and the covers r soo pretty i spent hrs yesterday just looking thru them i love them sm. one even has like wataru central focus on the back cover so gorgoeus waaa i love wataru sm prettiest man in the world,, there was a hypmic section but it was filled w stuff 4 another game?? same w bandori it just had pjsk stuff even tho i dont play either of those games was kinda disappointing i was gonna take pics to show my spacehey friends but ig not,, i also got a tokidoki bag there :3 they had cute stickers and plushies on the bottom floor but those were all like crazy expensive, again w the $6 sticker sheets gahh u_u the displays to just look at art books were pretty tho and they had those cool like book shelf decoration things where its a book but u can decorate it to be like scenery, even tho i prob wont be able to afford a lot it was a cozy store i liked just being in there
ive went to chinatown and canal street a few times but this time i had a mission to search for some gloves from the last visit and sponge cake. i didnt get the gloves last time bc then i didnt think id wear them that much and they werent worth it but i thought abt them more and rlly wanted them u_u so we looked but we couldnt find the store and it wasnt worth going into every store ever. it was during the week so there wasnt like the usual canal street craziness which was nice bc when we go on the weekends theres like way too much going on. i went to this one store that had a bunch of old sanrio stuff like plushies, a dollhouse and sticker maker but all that stuff was kinda expensive u_u i did get a my melo stationary kit :D then i got like 10 sponge cakes xd i only ate 3 there tho i saved the rest 4 home :33 they were soo good nom nom,, then near chinatown theres a few plush stores i usually visit and at rumi life i got a penguin plush bc ive been collecting penguin plushies since i was like 4 like i cannot leave a plush store w/o one xd, they also had some cute bead sets but i didnt get them bc i have enough beads uhh and thats it 4 now i think maybe ill upd8 if i remember any more :33 i had lots of fun tho i luv nyc sm its times like this im jealous of rich ppl bc like i wish i could live in the city and eat $1.50 pizza everyday and walk everywhere and actually have stuff to do waa my fav place in the whole world
shoutout 2 the enstarrie kinokuniya worker
31.03.23 names and genders
rant abt my experience with gender and what comes w every person - a name!! my least fav thing EVER!! i know i was born w a name, even tho i h8 that word more than anything and when i hear it i wanna rip my ears off. i love the name ive chosen for myself but also it feels so weird to be referred to by it,, like this girl whos in my bsf's band class at school called me rex in the hallways and i was happy i think i was happier abt that than abt the fact that she complimented my hair but it also felt weird to be acknowledged as who i rlly am?? like im so used to everyone knows my birth name and im usually called that but this girl doesnt even know what it is. to her im just rex,, even on spacehey when it was my bday and ppl called me rex it made me sosoo happy but im just not used to it. my family uses it but when they use my name it just feels fake, theyre trying too hard and my one mom just deadnames me half the time anyways and usually to her my actual name is just a privilege :/ my bsf uses my correct name too but i just think thats not weird to me bc weve been 2gether since 4th grade htats like 6yrs now o_O i think it kinda has to do w the idea that i h8 being percieved as an actual person and not just a thing,, IDKK i cant explain it but like i dont even think of myself as human rlly so thinking abt having a name and the possibility of being referred to is SOO weird 2 me,, like at school im not even acknowledged im just there. and like i dont wanna be acknowledged that much and rlly that can be 4 a diff rant but when ppl use my correct name+pronouns aka literally just respecting me i feel so happy my bsf and his mom use my they pronouns and it just makes me so happyyy ok now abt my gender actually like ok so being a girl. i luv the idea of being a girl i luv the idea of being like the shojo protags or the girls in 2000s chick flicks that go out to the mall w their friends on the weekends, write w cute stationary in their cute diaries, and gush over boys aahhhh but i know thats like i just dont feel like a girl at all,, when i think abt being a girl i just feel weird, like rlly i dont enjoy my she pronouns that much and actually writing this now decided im gonna get rid of them from everywhere and when someone calls me a girl i just recoil ig idk,, but i also luv the idea of being introduced as someone's gf, and i want the boy i luv to call me a good girl, a pretty girl AHHHH def why i luvv girlthing as a gender i have never seen anything that describes me more everr. and more on names and gender in general i think that was the hardest part abt my self discovery. like rlly ive been discovering more abt my gender right up to now and itll prob stay like that 4everr and it took me a yr to find a name i actually felt like fit me, and b4 that i had the WORSTT names i think my first name was noodle (after noodle from gorillaz bc i was hyperfixated on gorillaz), then gerard bc mcr hyperfix too,, then it was brick, and then nep bc homestuck u_u (6th grade eww), even after i was confident abt my name being rex i ended up in my death note hyperfix which was more like 60% death note 40% mello and named myself mihael for a few months,, but now ive stuck w rex for a little over a yr now and i love it even tho i think i will never rlly understand gender at all i can be sure that im rex and i think thats all that matters 4 now :3
rant abt my experience with gender and what comes w every person - a name!! my least fav thing EVER!! i know i was born w a name, even tho i h8 that word more than anything and when i hear it i wanna rip my ears off. i love the name ive chosen for myself but also it feels so weird to be referred to by it,, like this girl whos in my bsf's band class at school called me rex in the hallways and i was happy i think i was happier abt that than abt the fact that she complimented my hair but it also felt weird to be acknowledged as who i rlly am?? like im so used to everyone knows my birth name and im usually called that but this girl doesnt even know what it is. to her im just rex,, even on spacehey when it was my bday and ppl called me rex it made me sosoo happy but im just not used to it. my family uses it but when they use my name it just feels fake, theyre trying too hard and my one mom just deadnames me half the time anyways and usually to her my actual name is just a privilege :/ my bsf uses my correct name too but i just think thats not weird to me bc weve been 2gether since 4th grade htats like 6yrs now o_O i think it kinda has to do w the idea that i h8 being percieved as an actual person and not just a thing,, IDKK i cant explain it but like i dont even think of myself as human rlly so thinking abt having a name and the possibility of being referred to is SOO weird 2 me,, like at school im not even acknowledged im just there. and like i dont wanna be acknowledged that much and rlly that can be 4 a diff rant but when ppl use my correct name+pronouns aka literally just respecting me i feel so happy my bsf and his mom use my they pronouns and it just makes me so happyyy ok now abt my gender actually like ok so being a girl. i luv the idea of being a girl i luv the idea of being like the shojo protags or the girls in 2000s chick flicks that go out to the mall w their friends on the weekends, write w cute stationary in their cute diaries, and gush over boys aahhhh but i know thats like i just dont feel like a girl at all,, when i think abt being a girl i just feel weird, like rlly i dont enjoy my she pronouns that much and actually writing this now decided im gonna get rid of them from everywhere and when someone calls me a girl i just recoil ig idk,, but i also luv the idea of being introduced as someone's gf, and i want the boy i luv to call me a good girl, a pretty girl AHHHH def why i luvv girlthing as a gender i have never seen anything that describes me more everr. and more on names and gender in general i think that was the hardest part abt my self discovery. like rlly ive been discovering more abt my gender right up to now and itll prob stay like that 4everr and it took me a yr to find a name i actually felt like fit me, and b4 that i had the WORSTT names i think my first name was noodle (after noodle from gorillaz bc i was hyperfixated on gorillaz), then gerard bc mcr hyperfix too,, then it was brick, and then nep bc homestuck u_u (6th grade eww), even after i was confident abt my name being rex i ended up in my death note hyperfix which was more like 60% death note 40% mello and named myself mihael for a few months,, but now ive stuck w rex for a little over a yr now and i love it even tho i think i will never rlly understand gender at all i can be sure that im rex and i think thats all that matters 4 now :3
